What do you need sexual intelligence for?
The concept of “sexual intelligence” was coined by Dr. Sheree Conrad and Dr. Michael Milburn, exploring why, despite the sexual revolution, we still lack happiness in bed. In turn, the author of the term “erotic intelligence” is Esther Perel, who in the book of the same title wonders how today, in times of “dictatorship of equality”, we are to accept that it is sexual inequality that guarantees successful sex. What else is sexual intelligence? We ask Katarzyna Miller.
We naturally associate sex with instincts, stimuli, chemistry, i.e. forces independent of our will or our reason. Meanwhile, people write and talk about the intelligence of lovers. So does what we think matter in bed? After all, we’re not starting a business, we’re just supposed to love each other. Or maybe this intelligence is just such an American fashionable invention?
It matters not only how we think, but also how we act, what we choose. To begin with, I will tell you two anecdotes from my life. The first is a love tragedy about an erotically intelligent young woman who arranges to have sex with an attractive, intimidating older man in a hotel. She was so taken with the date that as soon as they got to the room, she wanted to brush her teeth, and she did it with such commitment that her crown fell out and got stuck in the elbow of the sink. Poor girl broke down, she was already flustered, and here’s more – toothless! All her desire for sex was gone, she just wanted to go home. But how?! No lace? But she couldn’t take it off herself…
She called a sexy Polish plumber – and her sexual intelligence was that she had his number on hand!?
It was a good idea to have such a call recorded, but she had just done something else that also confirmed her erotic and even sexual intelligence, despite her little experience. She told the waiting man, although she was very ashamed, that not only was she not skilled at such hotel trysts, but she also had no front tooth because her crown fell into the elbow of the sink. To which he jumped happily. He recently had a similar experience, so they have more in common than he thought. And instead of looking at his watch, saying he forgot an important meeting, or taking care of that elbow of the sink, he looked at her knees with fire in his eyes. Her helplessness, sincerity and openness, plus a charming self-consciousness, captivated him. And they had good sex, because he climbed to the heights of his art, seeing in her a real girl without a gram of pose,
So if we lose a tooth, we don’t have to miss the opportunity for super sex and be doomed to a date with the dentist?
This is what sexual intelligence is about, turning something that could be a lack into an asset. And now the second anecdote from life, but this time about the lack of sexual and erotic intelligence in an attractive and experienced lady who had her whole apartment wallpapered with her photos in various corsets and other dressing gowns, so that one of the guests would not miss how beautiful she is. This lady always boasted to her friends that she could take the most advantageous pose in bed, and therefore she would wrap any